Dear Friends,

It was in the midst of the legislative debate in Vermont about establishing civil unions that I first heard a legislator make the connection between civil rites and civil rights. She was noting that a civil union law, while allowing a legal rite to take place, was at the same time creating a civil right. I was certainly grateful for the passage of that law in 2000. This week, my spouse Thomas and I are marking the 10th anniversary of the blessing of our union, which we celebrated with both legal an church rites.

Much is being made of the civil rights that are being established by the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act. Gay and lesbian couples in states where marriage is legal for them will now be able to have many more federal rights. And that is profoundly important. But my own experience has taught me that the ability to publicly express a life long commitment to another person – to share in a rite surrounded by family, friends, and a church community, means so much as well. Thomas and I knew that those who gathered with us were promising to support and love us, even as we made our commitment to each other. For marriage is about more than rights. It is also about taking on responsibilities, and a willingness to engage in the kind of sacrificial love we see most fully embodied in Jesus.

When I preside at a wedding – whether for a straight or gay couple – I always make that point: the vows being made are stated within the embrace of a larger community. The  Supreme Court decided this week that the larger community’s endorsement and support of marriage for gay and lesbian persons was not only appropriate, but constitutional. And for that I am grateful. Unfortunately, the same court decided that oversight of the larger community was not necessary for ensuring the vote of persons who have historically faced discrimination at the polls. That is a reminder to me that the ongoing work of creating a civil society that embodies the love and justice that Jesus proclaimed is never finished.

Faithfully,

Tom