Giving Up (and Taking On) for Lent

Giving Up (and Taking On) for Lent

I may be over-prepared in general, but I tend to crash into the beginning of Lent without giving it much thought. “What are you giving up?” someone inevitably asks me during the first week or so of the season. (Or some variation: “What are you taking on?” “What new spiritual practice are you trying?”) And I suddenly realize that, yet again, despite my best intentions, I haven’t figured it out yet. So, just in case you’ve ever found yourself in the same predicament, I thought I’d take the opportunity to say a few words about our Lenten fasts, a couple weeks before they begin.

First, a note on “giving things up” and “taking things on” for Lent: Recently, many people have found it helpful to frame Lent as an opportunity to take on something new and good, to cultivate a new habit or spiritual practice, rather than to give something up. And this is fine! Traditionally, fasting and almsgiving are two core focuses of Lent. One would take the money saved by fasting from certain items (wine, meat, chocolate) and give it instead to those in need, so “giving up” and “taking on” were linked. While many people prefer the positive connotations of taking on something new rather than giving something up, note that most of what I say below still applies!

With that said, three observations about Lent:

  1. Lenten fasting is not about giving up something bad. You can (and probably should!) do this any time of the year! Although Lent’s mood does tend to encourage us to avoid our various bad habits, this is isn’t a fast; it’s repentance. Lenten fasting is about giving up something good, something which we can joyfully receive again at Easter. (Hence the common practice of a reception after the Easter Vigil featuring chocolates and champagne!)
  2. Lenten fasting is not a project of self-improvement; it is a process of self-knowledge. It’s an exploration of the human will. Temporarily giving up something that’s otherwise good (or at least neutral) gives us an opportunity to observe how our minds and wills work. Say I decide to fast from social media during Lent. If I fail a few times, it’s not a very big deal. But it is a learning experience, an opportunity to observe the conditions under which my willpower grows weak. Is it when I’m bored? Tired? Lonely? What are the triggers that lead me to rationalize away my resolution and indulge in the thing I’ve promised to avoid? It turns out that for most of us, the same patterns apply to our more serious sins and bad habits; so by struggling against a minor foe, I’ve learned how to care for myself in the larger struggle against my more-deeply-engrained issues. In this sense, you can almost think of Lent as a workout for the soul: it’s an opportunity to strengthen your ability to resist true evil by practicing on things that just aren’t that important.
  3. God does not love you any more for keeping a perfect Lenten fast, nor does God love you any less for an imperfect one; and in fact, God may well be pleased to see the humility that comes with occasional failure! While to a certain extent our Lenten practices can strengthen our willpower, what they really do well is show us how weak the will can be. And the humility that comes with this realization opens us up to be grateful for God’s grace, for the promise of unconditional love we receive, no matter how imperfect we are.

Good Friday’s going to come, whether you give up everything you can all Lent and never fail, or rationalize and justify your way through every cheat. Your perfect control of every situation won’t be enough to save Jesus’ life. Your failures aren’t the reason that it’s ending. But these forty days of struggle are a chance to practice a more perfect imperfection; to risk looking into your own soul and observing its workings when dealing with the most trivial things, knowing that—however great your success or profound your failure to keep a holy Lent—Christ will rise again at the end of it.

“Blessed”

“Blessed”

 
 
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Sermon — February 13, 2022

The Rev. Greg Johnston

Lectionary Readings

There’s been a subtle change in the way people use the word “blessed” over the last decade. Ten years ago, if I asked someone how they were and they said “blessed,” I’d assume they meant they were grateful to God for the good things God had given them, even—maybe especially—the little things. “How are you today?” you might say to a taxi driver as you got into the backseat. “Blessed,” he might reply. Life’s not perfect. I’m not rich. But I’m blessed to be here, blessed that God woke me up this morning to spend another day driving people around.

With the rise of social media, “blessed” has acquired a new sense. In the age of Facebook and Instagram and TikTok, where you can tag photos or videos with a word or phrase, “blessed” quickly became a cliché. Circa 2014, if you posted a photo of yourself suspended mid-air off the back of a yacht as you leapt into the turquoise waters of the Caribbean, there was only one thing to say: #blessed. This kind of mock humility or gratitude could be especially infuriating. No no, it’s not bragging to post a photo of my incredible resort hotel room with an ocean view. It’s gratitude! It’s prayer! See: I’m blessed!

#blessed became such a cliché that as early as 2015 it had generated a harsh response from none other than Vogue magazine. “The #blessed hashtag,” writes columnist Hayley Bloomingdale, “is only acceptable when used ironically. Note: The #blessed hashtag used unironically (e.g., an image of a green juice with the caption ‘#greenjuice #cleanliving #lovemylife… #blessed #soblessed [several hashtags omitted]) is a clear indicator that you should unfollow that girl and avoid her in real life at all costs.”

Still, even today, you can find people unironically using the phrase “blessed” when they’re really showing off about how awesome their life is, and in fact—how awesome they are. It reflects a broader pattern, even a theology: there’s a certain strain of American culture and American Christianity that sees your success in attaining the pleasures of this life as a sign of God’s grace.

Jesus would be surprised to hear it.


“Blessed are you who are poor,” he famously begins, “for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you will be filled. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh. Blessed are you when people hate you, and when they exclude you, revile you, and defame you…” (Luke 6:20-22)

#blessed #soblessed

These “beatitudes,” these blessed-are-yous, are completely upside-down. Even leaving social media and the prosperity gospel aside, reasonable people wouldn’t see this as a blessed way of life. Poverty, hunger, tears; these are not the blessings for which we thank our God. Riches, fullness, laughter—these are not our woes.

It’s so difficult to wrap our heads around this inversion that people have come up with ways to try to make Jesus’ words make sense. Perhaps the most common response is to spiritualize them, and you see this already in the small differences between Luke and Matthew’s versions of these says. In Luke, Jesus tells the disciples, “Blessed are you who are poor… Blessed are you who are hungry…” (Luke 6:20-21) in Matthew, Jesus says, “Blessed are the poor in spirit… Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness…” (Matt. 5:3, 6) and he adds several more: “Blessed are the merciful… Blessed are the pure in heart… Blessed are the peacemakers…” and so on. (Matt. 5:7-9) In this spiritualized version, It’s not about material poverty and wealth, hunger and fullness; it’s about spiritual hunger and spiritual poverty, yearning for God and giving up our pretenses to control. (But keeping the cash.)

Others have played with the sense of time in Jesus’ words. There’s a kind of cycle here that reminds me of the famous verse from Ecclesiastes: “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” (Eccl. 3:1 ff.) “Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you will be filled. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh… [But] woe to you who are full now, for” — no matter how filling the meal — “you will be hungry.” Read this way, the Beatitudes become a commentary on the cyclicality of time, a reassurance that this too will pass—whatever this is for you right now, be it hunger or mourning or fullness or laughter. For better or for worse, all things come to an end.

To others these are both unsatisfying ideas. Luke’s gospel is, after all, the one with the most clear-eyed concern for the poor and the outcast. It’s in Luke that we find Mary’s words that God has “cast down the mighty from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly.” (1:52) It’s in Luke that Jesus, in his opening sermon at the synagogue in Nazareth, proclaims that he has come to “proclaim good news to the poor.” (4:18) And so it should come as no surprise that it’s in Luke that Jesus stands before his disciples and bluntly says, “Blessed are the poor; for yours is the kingdom of God.” And to the extent that you are poor or hungry or reviled, this is a fantastic thing. Jesus smashes the prosperity theology of the culture of #blessed-ness. If you are poor, or hungry, or mourning, it is not a sign of God’s displeasure. No, “Blessed are you,” Jesus says, “for yours is the kingdom of God.” And if—this third school of thought wants to say—if this offends you but you are rich and full and happy, then that’s not Jesus’ problem. It’s yours.


So, all of these interpretations have centuries of tradition supporting them, and I encourage you to hang onto whichever one draws you closer to God. For my part, I just want to make two observations.

First: in Matthew’s gospel, this is part of the famous “Sermon on the Mount.” In Luke, we find it in the shorter and significantly-less-famous “Sermon on the Plain.” It’s delivered not from high up on the mountain, evoking the holy Mount Sinai from which Moses delivered the Law millennia before; but face to face, for “Jesus came down… and stood on a level place… and looked up at his disciples.” (6:17, 20) Jesus came down among us, not just in a metaphorical way in the Incarnation, but in a very literal way, and walked among the rich and poor alike, not with condemnation or with legislation, but with a compassionate heart and a healing touch.

Second: this isn’t a third-person description of categories of people as good or bad. It’s a word of comfort in the second person, face to face; and, to be fair, a word of warning. It’s not “blessed are the poor…blessed are the hungry…woe to the rich.” It’s Jesus, speaking to his disciples, to us, and our ecclesiastical ancestors, and saying, “Blessed are you, who are poor. Blessed are you, who are hungry. Blessed are you, who weep.” And “woe to you, who are rich. Woe to you, who are full. Woe to you, who are laughing now.”

The reality is, we’re always both at once. We are, as the Church has always been, a mixed body. And in fact, every one of us is a mixed body. I do not know a single person who is so #blessed that they are full and laughing and rich in every part of their life. And when we see someone who we think is, when we compare our lives with someone who really does seem to be living the dream, we have to remember: it’s a front. It’s an important front, sometimes. We need to keep ourselves together somehow. We don’t actually want to answer every person who asks how we’re doing with the whole truth. But I would be shocked if a single person came up to me after this service and said, “Greg: my life is perfect. I have no pain. I have no tears. I have no hunger.” If that’s you, please tell me! I would love to know! But I’ve never seen it before in my life. Rich or full or cheerful as we may be, we are all poor, or hungry, or weeping, too.


A few years ago I went to a conference and picked up some materials from a booth being run by a group that offers “strategic missional consulting” for local churches. And you can type in the address of your church and get a detailed demographic breakdown of the local area, with Census statistics and marketing demographic breakdowns and a free 45-minute phone call where they walk you through it; and then try to sell you the full consulting package for, like, ten grand.

And after walking me through the details, the priest-consultant on the call asked me a question that came from a few decades of ministry: “Tell me: What’s hunger look like in your community?”

And I said: “Well, you know, it’s a pretty affluent area of the suburbs, but there’s actually a pretty big refugee community here, and there are a lot of elders living on fixed-incomes with pretty high property taxes, and I go to this monthly meeting of human services providers and I’ve always been surprised to hear how busy the food pantry is and…”

And he said, “No, no, no. Tell me: What’s hunger look like in your community?”

We are all sometimes full and often hungry. We are all sometimes laughing and often weeping. And I know that I’m just falling into that same trap of spiritualizing away the very real material point of this text, but we are all, however rich we may be, somehow poor; and, in this country, relative to the human condition writ large, however poor we may be, we are still relatively rich.

What’s hunger look like in our community? What’s hunger look like in this church? What’s hunger look like for you, rich or poor, hungry or full, laughing or weeping; for you, as one of those blessed children to whom Jesus has promised the kingdom of God?

For “blessed are those,” whoever they are, “who trust in the Lord,” says the prophet Jeremiah, “whose trust is in the Lord.” (Jeremiah 17:7) Amen.

Preparing for Preparation

One of my least-helpful personality traits is a kind of existential restlessness. I continually make five-year plans and inevitably rewrite them after six months. I constantly imagine the next step in my education, or my ministry, or my sermon series, in a stream of possible futures that will never unfold. I reassure myself with the certainty that surely, surely once _____ happens then everything will be okay. I prepare, and prepare, and prepare myself for a future that often doesn’t quite arrive.

I’m well suited, in other words, to the season once known as “Gesimatide” that begins, in some traditions, this Sunday: the three weeks before Lent, a season of preparation for a season of preparation.

If you worshiped in an Episcopal Church or in a Roman Catholic church before the 1960s and 70s, you may well have seen or heard the unscrabbleable names Septuagesima, Sexagesima, and Quinquagesima for the Sundays leading up to the season of Lent. They originate in the Latin words for seventy, sixty, and fifty, numbers that refer to the fifty, or sixty, or seventy days before Easter week, and by metonymy to the Sundays that fall within those periods. In medieval and early-modern Western liturgical calendars, these Sundays mark a period of preparation for Lent; “Alleluias” begin to be dropped and vestments begin changing to purple, even before the Lenten fast begins.

While the modern liturgical calendars of the late 20th century have ended some of these traditions as part of their fuller observance of the season of Epiphany, traces remain. Our Sunday readings shift from the Epiphany focus on Christ’s revelation to the world toward a dual emphasis on resurrection and law, a foreshadowing of the seasons of Lent and Easter.

This Sunday and next, we’ll hear Jesus deliver a sermon whose contents Gandhi described as the essence of Christianity, and yet which no Christian has ever fully embodied. “Blessed are you who are poor,” Jesus says, “for yours is the kingdom of God… Blessed are you when people hate you, and when they exclude you, revile you, and defame you… Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you… Give to everyone who begs from you; and if anyone takes away your goods, do not ask for them again. Do to others as you would have them do to you.” (Luke 6:20-31)

The law laid out in the Sermon on the Mount (in Luke’s case, sometimes called the “Sermon on the Plain”) is good. It is perfect. It is the ideal to which all human beings should aspire. And as with all such laws, no mere mortal has ever left it unbroken. To say that these Sundays before Lent, these Sundays of “Gesimatide,” are a preparation for Lent is to say that we come to understand the depth of our imperfection by reflecting on the height of our aspirations.

Lent is not a wallowing in our badness, a self-centered struggle with our own guilty pleasures. It is a fundamental reckoning with that gap: the gap between our aspirations and our reality; between our calling and our response; between God’s vision for a world in which the poor are blessed and our enemies are loved and the Golden Rule is the only rule, and the world in which we live.

So prepare, this Gesimatide, for Lent. Overprepare. Prepare for the preparation that will prepare you for the revelation that God was born, and died, and rose again to bridge that gap, and imagine a future in which it closes. Make a five-year plan that will never become reality. Dream of the next steps on the road down which God is leading us. And prepare yourself to prepare again the next year, and again the next, and again the next, into eternity.

“Woe is Me!”

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“Woe is Me!”

 
 
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Sermon — February 6, 2022

The Rev. Greg Johnston

Lectionary Readings

“Woe is me! I am lost, for I am a man of unclean lips,
 and I live among a people of unclean lips!” (Isaiah 6:5)

Welcome to my annual report.

No, I’m just kidding. But this is a fitting set of readings for a Sunday on which we’ll vote to elect the new leadership of this parish, with two new wardens and four new Vestry members. Our readings today grapple with the overwhelming sense of responsibility that can come with a transition, in any area of life. If you’ve ever gotten a promotion at work, or taken on a leadership role in a community organization, or become a parent, you’ve probably felt that combination of dread and commitment, of “Woe is me!” and “Here I am! Send me!” Even simply to babysit for a few hours for the first time is to enter into a terrifying realm of smoke and fire and quaking thresholds; surely they’re not about to entrust me with this child? And then they do, and there you are, and it’s okay. Hopefully.

Of course, these new responsibilities come with many benefits, including some of the greatest joys and satisfactions in life: the ability to practice new skills or finally use the ones we have, to make a bigger impact on the world, to see our children as they change and grow, to eat anything we want from some random people’s fridge while we’re babysitting. It’s not so bad.

If you ever have any anxiety about new responsibilities, just read one of the gospel stories about Simon Peter. I always love these stories, because for a chief apostle, he’s such an ordinary guy. He is both a clumsy, bumbling leader, and  a model for who we all should be, and that should be a comforting thing, because—while we may never catch prodigious numbers of fish, or go to lead the Church of Christ in Rome, we probably also won’t warm ourselves by the fire outside the place where Christ is being sentenced to death and deny we’ve ever heard of the guy, so we’re not doing too badly, overall.

I want to make a few observations about leadership, responsibility, and discipleship from our Gospel reading this morning.

First: It begins with saying yes, despite our doubts. Jesus asks Simon Peter to come out into the water and cast his net, and Simon is a bit skeptical. “Master, we have worked all night long but have caught nothing…” he says. “Yet if you say so…” He’s not sure it’s the right time or place for him to try putting out his nets, but he trusts the one who’s inviting him into it, and he says yes, and amazing things happen.

Things that are somewhat too amazing, in fact. Observation #2: our successes can be as overwhelming as our failures, if not even more so. You can imagine that Peter and his companions were a little disappointed to have caught no fish, wasting a long night’s labor. But it’s not the end of the world. Yet the success that comes when they follow Jesus’ invitation really could be the end of the world: “they caught so many fish that their nets were beginning to break…and they came and filled both boats, so that they began to sink.” (Luke 5:6-7) Their failure is a disappointment; their success is a catastrophe. These are ordinary people, small-time businessmen; their nets and their boats are all they have. And there is always a risk in trying something new, in ascending up a new run on whatever ladder we’re climbing. It’s just as true for a church or a neighborhood. If we want to grow, in numbers or in ministry, there’s some risk. I wonder: What would it look like for our church’s boats to be so full of fish in 2022 that they began to sink?

Observation #3: the opportunities and possibilities of this new thing can and should come with a serious sense of humility. Just as Isaiah cried out, when called to speak the words of the Lord, “Woe is me! I am lost, for I am a man of unclean lips!” Peter, too responds with humility. “Go away from me Lord, for I am a sinful man!” And yet Peter didn’t go away, “he fell down at Jesus’ knees.” (Luke 5:8) In fact this is too weak a translation. It was an ancient posture of supplication to kneel down and grab onto someone’s knees; if you were begging someone for your life, you’d grab their knees and plead with them. So Luke writes that Simon “fell toward  Jesus’ knees,” and you can imagine Jesus’ amusement at the sight. “Go away from me, Lord!” Peter cries. Um, sir. Those are my legs.

It’s a powerful symbol, though, of a spiritual truth: when we realize that we are unworthy to answer God’s call, that we can’t fulfill the vision God has for us, what we need is not to push God away, but to lean in closer; not to reject the calling, but to accept God’s gracious response to all our failings.

And we can lean in closer to one another, too. That’s observation #4: leadership is not an individual characteristic, but a communal effort. “James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon” on the fishing boats become his partners in ministry, the inner circle of a web that stretches from Jesus; to James, John, and Peter; to the Twelve; to the five hundred Paul names and more. Their leadership is a collaborative calling of which none of them is worthy on his own, and yet to which they can respond if they bear one another’s burdens along the way. And this is why we lead the church as a Vestry of which, at this point, the majority of our adults have been members. It’s why we work as teams and raise children as villages. We cannot bear the burden alone. But together, we can.

And even together, sometimes we can’t; and yet that is the greatest observation at all. Sometimes we try things and we fail. Sometimes our efforts simply aren’t good enough. Or at least we think they’re not. And Jesus responds to our inadequacies and limitations by inviting us into even greater growth, even greater responsibility. Your boat’s sinking? You’re a sinful man, not worthy of catching so many fish? “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching people.” (Luke 5:10) And so the simple “fishermen” becomes the “fishers of men,” on the way to a lifelong pursuit of an ever-greater harvest.

So many of you bear the burden of responsibility in your lives. Maybe it’s at church, in formal or informal leadership, on the Vestry or the Building Committee, as stewardship chair or with the ECW, or in a thousand other ways. Maybe it’s at work, or at home, or in school. You may sometimes feel that you’re not good enough for the responsibility you bear. But God’s response is not to smite you for your failings. It’s not to judge you for your flaws. It’s to take you as you are, an ordinary person, good but not perfect, and to give you the strength to answer the call, so that when God asks you, “Whom shall I send?” you hear the unexpected sound of your own voice: “Here am I; send me!” (Isaiah 6:8) Amen.

Conversion

This Tuesday was the feast of the Conversion of St. Paul the Apostle, celebrating the famous day on which the zealous man known as Saul, a ferocious persecutor of the earliest churches, was struck blind by a light blazing brighter than the sun on the road to Damascus, cast down to the ground by a voice crying out: “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? It hurts you to kick against the goads.” (Acts 26:14) Saul’s whole identity is transformed, down to his very name: Saul the persecutor becomes Paul the apostle, fostering the growth of the new Christian churches around the Mediterranean as zealously as he’d once tried to destroy them.

As a paradigm for spiritual life it’s a bit imposing. While there are many examples of profound change in the lives of Christians all around the world, few of our stories are nowhere near as dramatic as Paul’s. Our paths have fewer sudden swerves and many more gentle turns, and when they do begin to meander in another direction, it rarely comes with such clear signs, with blazing lights and booming voices and traveling companions, fallen to the ground.

We don’t all have Paul’s kind of conversion. But we do all need to be converted.


Not “converted” in the sense of “converting” from one religion to another, but in the sense of what the Christian monastic traditional calls “conversion of life.” “Conversion,” writes Brother Curtis Almquist, SSJE, “is about our life-long turning and returning to Christ.” It is not a matter of self-denial, of giving up the things that are best about ourselves, but of pruning, of trimming away the things that are preventing us from living fully in God’s love, of “co-operating with how Jesus wants to set us free.”

Blinded by the light, Paul is unable to see until he meets Ananias, one of the very Christian disciples whom Paul had been headed to Damascus to persecute. God urges Ananias, despite his (reasonable) skepticism, to go to Paul, and when he does, he lays his hands on him and greets him, this persecuting enemy, as “Brother.” “Brother Saul,” he says, “the Lord Jesus, who appeared to you on your way here, has sent me so that you may regain your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” And immediately, famously, “something like scales fell from his eyes, and his sight was restored.” (Acts 9:17-18)


“What needs to be changed in us?” asks the nun and spiritual writer Joan Chittister, OSB. “Anything that deludes us into thinking that we are not simply a work in progress, all of whose degrees, status, achievements, and power are no substitute for the wisdom that a world full of God everywhere, in everyone has to teach us.”

These things are like so many scales, obscuring our vision. They prevent us from seeing God face to face. They prevent us from seeing our neighbors, near and far, as the beloved children of God. They prevent us from seeing ourselves, in fact, as the beloved children of God. And in proclaiming his unconditional love for us—in declaring that we are beloved, whatever our achievements or failures, weaknesses or strengths—Jesus invites us to yield to God’s grace, to the Holy Spirit’s slow work of converting us as we all walk roads that stretch beyond Damascus to the very ends of our days.

O God, who by the preaching of your apostle Paul has caused the light of the Gospel to shine throughout the world: Grant, we pray, that we, having his wonderful conversion in remembrance, may show ourselves thankful to you by following his holy teaching; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.